Mr. Nightmare jokes

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.

I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.

One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

Mom: Wake up!

Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...

Mom: Why are you disappointed?

Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...