Misdemeanor jokes

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.

I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.

The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy."

Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.