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Masturbation

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/Kanye, labeled NSFW. The title asks, 'Is it still ethical to jiggle my johnson to Kanye songs?' The body text below is a 'DISCUSSION' post starting with 'A while ago, I discovered that certain Kanye songs caused me to become ithyphallic...' and continues with a lengthy description of the user's masturbation habits, influenced by Kanye West's music and recent controversies. It ends by asking for an alternative suggestion like 'Jordan Terrell Carter'.

Infidelity

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A meme featuring a couple lying in bed. The woman is thinking that her partner is clueless about her infidelity with his best friend. The man wonders why she tastes like Steve's dick.

Cocaine

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows Elmo looking confused to the right. To his left is a clear cup with a pair of eyes floating on top. The text reads, "When Elmo's urine sample begins to sing about the importance of drinking water, he realizes that the cocaine he got from Tampa was probably less than 100% pure."

Heart

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A still from Sesame Street shows Ernie and Bert standing next to a snowman. In the bottom of the image, overlaid on a black background, are the words: "You can still hear her heart beat!" Ernie said. It wasn't until spring that the hooker's dead body would show up on the playground.

Family

Wade · 2 years ago

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a figure says, "Sometimes I feel like I have no one to turn to". The second panel shows a figure with a mustache saying "That's not true! Your mother and I are always here." In the third panel, another figure with blonde hair confirms, "Your father's right! You can count on us!". The fourth panel shows the first figure looking into two mirrors, one showing the mother and one showing the father. The first figure says "Ahhh- Almost had it that time!".

Napoleon

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a conversation. One user asks another about their ethnicity. The second user replies that they were born in Nepal. The first user then asks if they speak Napoleon.

Age

Big Jim · 10 months ago

It took me a second to realize

A serious-looking man with a beard, identified as Gustavo Fring, wearing a light-colored suit jacket, a red shirt, and a red tie, stands in front of a dark blue background. To his right, white text in a blocky font outlines a simple mathematical sequence: "take your age add 21 subtract 11 subtract 10 that's your age".

Guardian Angel

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Me all of the time

A statue of an angel with its head in its hand. The text reads: "I have a feeling that my guardian angel sometimes looks at me like this."

Embarrassment

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

WTF is this?

A screenshot of a comment made by a user named 'muffjn' on a social media platform. The text of the comment reads, 'i was listening to mcr and my mom walked in so i switched the tab to gay porn cause thats less embarrasing'. The timestamp indicates the comment was posted on 18 Sep 2023.

Laugh

Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago

Bet. I'm out hoes🖕

A meme shows an exchange where a teacher says the next person that laughs can leave, followed by the text "*Friend looks at me*" and "Me:". An image of a woman spitting out water from her mouth is included.

Study

Wade · 2 years ago

“High Arousal”

The image displays text from a search result which reads: "What causes lucid dreams to happen? Later studies showed that lucid dreaming often occurs during moments of particularly high arousal or change in brain wave activity in the outer layer of the brain. Recognition of dreaming may occur specifically in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, where working memory, planning, and abstract reasoning occur." To the right is an illustration of two people: one standing in pajamas and another in bed, possibly dreaming.

Tortilla Chip

✨Jassy✨ · 2 years ago

I hate it when that happens

Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants with his mouth wide open and tongue sticking out as if he is in great pain. The text above reads: "When you swallow a tortilla chip and it slowly slices your throat open on the way down."

Harry Potter

Centrebro · 3 years ago

HARRY POTTER MEMES

The image contains a collage of different scenes and text from the Harry Potter movies. In one image, Umbridge says 'ADMIT IT. YOU WANTED HER DEAD MORE THAN VOLDEMORT!' Another image contains Dumbledore saying 'I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS, BUT NO SPELL CAN REAWAKEN THE DEAD, HARRY. I TRUST YOU KNOW THAT. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME TURNER. WE'LL USE THAT TO SAVE BUCKBEAK.' Another image says 'Neville's parents... They suffered something worse than death. What?' Another image shows Voldemort with the text 'VOLDEMORT IS AFTER SOMETHING. SOMETHING HE DIDN'T HAVE LAST TIME. A NOSE?' Another image shows Harry and Ron with Hermione, and the text 'I HAVE MY ARMY' 'WE HAVE NOSES'. Another image shows a random woman saying 'ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS RUN STRAIGHT INTO THAT BRICK WALL OVER THERE AND YOU'LL END UP ON PLATFORM 9 AND 3/4. RANDOM WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET TELLS YOU TO RUN INTO A BRICK WALL IN ORDER TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.' and 'SOUNDS LEGIT'. Another image asks 'Why is the Ravenclaw symbol an eagle? What other animal would you want it to be?'. and 'maybe, a Raven?'. The last image has the text 'HOW TO BUILD A PREST'

Flu

RapBoat · 2 years ago

Chat is this real??

A tweet by Carti Fans with the handle @NeonCarti that says 'Playboi Carti predicted Covid-19'. The tweet includes a screenshot of text that reads 'In 2020 a flu-like disease that began in Wuhan, China (yuh) will cause a worldwide pandemic and shut down all major events for months (slatt) and cause major economic collapse (buh buh buh)'. Below it says 'PLAYBOI CARTI, "FOREIGN" GENIUS'. The picture features Playboi Carti with a peace sign.

Story

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Male

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan conversation with two photos attached. The first photo shows a very simple, mostly white bedroom with a bed, a ceiling fan, and a window. The second photo shows a bedroom with a wooden nightstand next to a bed, a green lamp, a bottle of beer, and a pizza box on the nightstand. The text above the photos reads: "Do males really live like this?" The subsequent messages are "yeah although I put a cool t-rex lamp next to my bed", "that's fucking sick dude" and "based t-rex chad"

Story

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Weed

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

View

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Ignore line & ovals

The image is a screenshot of a Facebook post. The post is a lengthy text about Islamic terrorism. The text includes a fictional dialogue that is supposed to be a parody of a conversation about terrorism. The fictional dialogue begins with a claim that the terrorists were told to act by holy texts. The fictional responses include blaming social and geopolitical reasons, accusing the terrorists of not being true Muslims, and even accepting blame for causing the terrorism.

Carpenter

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Hopefully you all had a happy Easter. I did not do anything

A cartoon image of Tom the cat wearing a roman helmet and reading a newspaper with a surprised expression on his face. The text above reads: "when that hippie jewish carpenter you literally just crucified is walking around talking to people."

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