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Newspaper

1 year ago
A comic strip shows people dressed in Harry Potter costumes waiting outside a store with a sign that reads 'Midnight Sale'. The text reads 'THE PAST... "IT WAS THE EARLY 2000s. A TIME WHEN WE ALL LEARNED TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS AGAINST SPOILERS." I'VE AVOIDED READING NEWSPAPERS AND EVEN LOGGED OFF OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB TO MAKE SURE THAT THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK ISN'T RUINED FOR ME. "ME TOO! I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK MY GEOCITIES PAGE UNTIL I'M THROUGH THE BOOK!" MIDNIGHT SALE SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! -OOOOOOOORRRRE! NOOOOOOOO!'. In the next panels, Deadpool in a Harry Potter themed cloak spoils the book.
  • 0
  • Chess

    1 month ago
    A meme shows a very red-faced baby screaming and crying intensely, with its mouth wide open and tears streaming down its face. Above the baby, white text on a light gray background reads: "Chess fans when I knock their stupid fucking pieces off the table and start eating their organs."
  • 0
  • Princess

    2 years ago

    Reasons

    The meme contrasts Elsa with Snow White, Ariel, Aurora, Cinderella, and Merida. Elsa, with her serious expression, states, "You can't marry a man you've just met." while the others seem to be in distress or have made rash decisions regarding relationships. Merida says "So I'll tell them the wedding's off then!"
  • 4
  • Turkey

    1 year ago
    A dog is on top of a raw turkey in a roasting pan. The image is a screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says "OMG GET DOWN HERE! THOR GOT THE TURKEY!! HE'S HUMPING IT AND SNARLING AT EVERYONE!!!". The second says "My baby's in love!". The third message says "MOM NOT FUNNY! What are we going to do?? We have people to feed!". The last message says "Oh relax, we'll just wash it off and cook it. No one will know."
  • 0
  • Baby

    8 months ago
    A meme with text on top that reads, "SATAN: SO WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE? ME: "I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents." Underneath the text is an image of a black cat with wide eyes.
  • 0
  • Class

    2 years ago

    I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

    A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.
  • 0
  • Die

    1 year ago

    I can now cross it off my bucket list

    The image displays the text "Things I Want To Do Before I Die:".
  • 2
  • Radio

    1 year ago
    A text transcript of a radio conversation between the British and the Irish. The British ship demands the Irish to change course, the Irish respond that they are a lighthouse.
  • 0
  • Memes

    1 year ago
    YOU INSUFFERABLE
RETARD, OPEN THE DAMN LID
off
  • 0
  • College

    1 year ago
    The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"
  • 1
  • Meme

    1 year ago
    A pixelated purple figure with black eyes and mouth holds two purple pistols with one pointed towards the viewer. The top text reads: "THERE IS NO MEME." The bottom text reads: "TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES."
  • 9
  • Shot

    1 year ago
    The image is a meme comparing the reactions of three U.S. presidents, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and Theodore Roosevelt, to being shot. For Ronald Reagan, the text says he "gets shot once," "cries about it," and "immediately enacts gun control like a scared baby." For John F. Kennedy, it says he "gets shot twice," "eats the first shot for breakfast," and the "second shot blows his brains all over his wife on live TV like a boss." For Theodore Roosevelt, it says he "gets shot once while giving a speech in front of a huge audience," "laughs it off," and "continues to give his speech for the next hour while roasting the would-be assassin."
  • 1
  • Digit

    7 months ago

    Low quality

    A screenshot of a tweet stating NASA uses only 15 digits of Pi for interplanetary travel. According to the tweet, at 40 digits, one could calculate the circumference of a circle the size of the visible universe. Below is an image of the Engineer character from the video game Team Fortress 2, with the text "YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU ARE AN ENGINEER WHO ONLY USES 3 DIGITS OF PI TO BUILD A SKYSCRAPER."
  • 1
  • V

    Vulgarity

    2 months ago
    A black pickup truck is seen from behind on a road. The truck is heavily adorned with numerous crude and politically charged bumper stickers covering its rear window and tailgate. On the top left of the rear window, a sticker reads "MAKE AMERICA CUM AGAIN". To its right, another sticker says "FUCK DA NRA" with the NRA logo crossed out. Below these, a large sticker proclaims "GET ON THE CUM TRAIN". On the tailgate, a sticker on the left reads "ONLY MY WIFE CAN FART ON MY BALLS!". In the center of the tailgate, below an American flag decal, a smaller sticker states "I WILL NOT CUM". Further down, a white sticker with "TOYOTA" and "STOP THE CUM!" and "JUST SAY NO TO CRANKIN OFF" is visible. On the right side of the tailgate, a sticker says "L'TS GO BRANDON", a euphemism for "Fuck Joe Biden". Below this, another sticker reads "REAL PATRIOTS MAKE THE BEST BOTTOMS!". Further down, "WHITE CUMS MATTER!" is displayed, a crude parody of "Black Lives Matter". To its right, "SHIT BLUE" is visible, likely referring to Democrats. Below "WHITE CUMS MATTER!", a sticker demands "IMPREGNATE BIDEN!". Other small stickers include "STOP THE WIPE!" and "TRUMP TRAIN". The truck's license plate reads "NVR CUM". The truck has "4x4" on its mudflaps and a large exhaust pipe.
  • 0
  • Cookie

    2 years ago

    OFF

    A black labrador covers the eyes of a white dog. The text says "HIM? NO, HE DOESN'T WANT A COOKIE. HE SAYS I CAN HAVE TWO."
  • 0
  • Corner

    1 year ago
    A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
  • 1
  • Coupon

    6 months ago
    A muscular man lifts his shirt to reveal a handgun in his waistband. Text: POV: me at the coffee shop presenting my 100% off coupon to the barista.
  • 0
  • Monkey

    6 months ago
    A person in a yellow vest with an open mouth is superimposed on an image of space. The image text says "Me when the monkey types out 99% of Shakespeare's literature just to finish it off with "W Gyatt kai Cenat Ohio Rizzler Skibibi fanum Tax did you pray today edger of the sigma" before going back to typing gibberish (I've been waiting 892 trillion years for this)".
  • 0
  • Platform

    11 months ago
    A yellow sign with black text that says: "Keep back from the platform edge or you may get sucked off."
  • 0
  • Mama

    2 years ago

    joe mama roast

    A list of ten yo-mama insults written on a dark background.
  • 0
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