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Puppy

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A cartoon picture of Jerry Mouse with wide eyes. The text above says: "I wanna name my puppy 'insane' so when people ask 'are you fucking insane?' I can say 'no I'm fucking my sister'".

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Tax

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man with a thinking expression in front of a stylized graphic with text that says: "My body is a temple, therefore I am a church and exempt from paying taxes."

Pregnancy

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The top panel shows a cartoon character, Phineas, looking pregnant with a pink heart coming out of his belly button. Below it is a man in medieval armor holding a shotgun with the text "ME" above him, and the text "*pumps shotgun with religious intent*" below him.

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Turkey

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A dog is on top of a raw turkey in a roasting pan. The image is a screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says "OMG GET DOWN HERE! THOR GOT THE TURKEY!! HE'S HUMPING IT AND SNARLING AT EVERYONE!!!". The second says "My baby's in love!". The third message says "MOM NOT FUNNY! What are we going to do?? We have people to feed!". The last message says "Oh relax, we'll just wash it off and cook it. No one will know."

Tire

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A car is missing one tire. A tire is laying on the ground in front of the car. A hand is holding a power tool, likely a grinder, in front of the tire.

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Cupcake

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows four items: a brownie, two chocolate cupcakes, two twinkies, and a book cover of "The Communist Manifesto". The text reads "I loved finding these in my lunchbox" and "THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO KARL MARX AND FRIEDRICH ENGELS".

Game

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A black and white image shows a laptop displaying a question: "Do you recognize the contents of the folder?" with buttons for "YES" and "NO" below. Next to the laptop is an open folder with a creepy troll face drawing inside.

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Video

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A YouTube video thumbnail featuring a man from The Lonely Island. The video title is "The Lonely Island - Jizz In My Pants (Official Video)". The video has 74 million views and was posted 10 years ago.

Son

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a comparison of two sons. On the top, there is a graphic of two rectangular sections labeled "Your Son" and "MY SON". In "Your Son", there is a silhouette of a feminine character. In "My Son" is a silhouette of a soldier. Below is a picture with "Your Son" labeling a blurry image of someone wearing pink-blue-white striped stockings and "MY SON" labeling a coffin draped in the US flag.

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Life

Nateツ · 2 years ago

A man in a pink shirt stands near a body of water with a city in the background. The text on the image says "how's your life going?" and "This is a river of my tears."

Game

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A black and white image shows a laptop on a desk with an open folder next to it. The laptop displays the question, "Do you recognize the contents of the folder?" with two buttons below labeled "YES" and "NO". The open folder displays a creepy troll face.

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Flight

Nateツ · 2 years ago

A person on a plane looks sideways with a concerned expression. Text above reads: "me after hearing someone cough on my $8 round trip flight to italy".

Idol

Anonymous · 2 years ago

YAYYYY

The image shows a list of quotes from different people arguing about whose idol is stronger, starting with "My Idol likely could beat urs in a fight", which leads to a discussion on if Godzilla or Jesus would win.

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Rat

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A gray rat stands on its hind legs, wearing blue jeans, with a background of baked beans. The text above the rat reads: "DESPITE ALL MY BEANS I AM STILL JUST A RAT IN SOME JEANS."

Horse

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is split into two parts. The upper part shows a man explaining something with a frantic expression, standing in front of a wall covered with papers connected with red threads. The text says, "Me explaining that a pregnant horse can run faster cause it has two horsepower". The bottom part shows a seal with a bored and unimpressed look. The text says, "My physics teacher."

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Deal

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A blue silhouette of a person hanging on gymnastic rings is visible on the white wall of a gym. The text above says: "I made a deal with the devil. He took my legs, but I still think it was worth it."

Toast

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Hehehehe toastie >:)

A screenshot of a question about favorite meal with a provided answer of "Dinner and Burritos". A student answered "Toast" to the question.

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Invention

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A wheelchair with a bicycle crank and chain attached to the front wheel is shown. The text on the image reads: "I can't believe my invention didn't win the science fair."

Load

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A four-panel cartoon. The first panel shows a car driving on a bridge with a "LOAD LIMIT 10 TONS" sign. In the second panel, the father and child are in a car, the child asks "HOW DO THEY KNOW THE LOAD LIMIT ON BRIDGES, DAD?" The third panel shows the father thinking about a matrix equation and the structural load analysis of a bridge. In the fourth panel, the father, now looking dumbfounded, says: "OH. I SHOULD'VE GUESSED."

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Ocean

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a message showing a dolphin-like head and the text: Me: "cums in the ocean." 20 years later in front of my door. Below this message is another message saying: "I would like you to stop messaging me".

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