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Shitpost master-general

Two photographs, mugshots of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, are pinned to a corkboard. A black string connects the pin near the top of Donald Trump's head to the pin near the top of Jeffrey Epstein's head, mimicking a conspiracy investigation board.

A screenshot of a social media post on a dark background. The top half shows a news broadcast split-screen featuring Tucker Carlson on the left and David Daleiden, identified as a pro-life activist, on the right. The text on the news image mentions "Kamala wanted to obstruct investigation into the sale of baby body parts." The post text below reads: "When two undercover investigators secretly taped Planned Parenthood admitting selling baby parts (a felony), Calif Attorney General prosecuted the undercover investigators, NOT Planned Parenthood. That Attorney General was Kamala Harris."

A screenshot of a Wikipedia article titled 'Enumclaw horse sex case.' The article details a 2005 incident where Kenneth D. Pinyan died from internal injuries after engaging in bestiality with a stallion. The article mentions other participants, James Michael Tait and Douglas Spink, and discusses the legal changes in Washington state prompted by the incident, including making bestiality a Class C felony. A map shows the location of Enumclaw, Washington State.

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

It’s finally happening…

A picture of a Chuck E. Cheese sign with a news headline saying, "5 children have gone missing inside a Chuck E. Cheese. Parents report smells coming..."

Guide to surviving Scream(1996)

The image displays the text: "The Rules of Surviving a Horror Movie in Scream (1996). According to Wes Craven's horror slasher movie Scream (1996), these are the rules to surviving a horror movie: 1. Never say "who's there". 2. Don't have sex. 3. Don't drink or do drugs. 4. Never say "I'll be right back". 5. Everyone is a suspect. 6. Never go out to investigate a strange noise. Bonus: The supposedly dead killer may come back to life in the end for one final scare." On the right, there is a depiction of the Ghostface mask.

Who killed the child?

The image shows two panels. In the first panel, a man is sitting in a chair, slumped over, with the text "Innocent child" over him. A purple figure is standing over him, pointing a gun. In the second panel the same purple figure is pointing at the viewer and text says "Who killed the child?"