Worst Jokes Ever

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Insert Memes

Heroin Monkey

A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".

Anonymous

A close-up shot of a gas pump nozzle with a caution sticker that reads: "CAUTION: DO NOT INSERT IN MOUTH OR RECTUM." Text at the bottom says, "I have no words..."

Willy b

A cross-section diagram of the Y-1561 implosion sphere showing component placement with the text "You happy???"

Heroin Monkey

A man wearing a balaclava and camouflage clothing stands in a grassy field holding a rifle. Above him is text that reads: "Definitely do not soak a bag of flour in diesel fuel and let it dry for a day or two. And then, by no means, do NOT insert a firecracker into the diesel flour dough. That's redneck C4 and is super duper dangerous."

Heroin Monkey

A Capri Sun drink pouch with the text "Damn this shit kinda hydrating." "I NEED her bouncing and moaning on it." and "The Federal Government must fall."

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Heroin Monkey

The text "The Gire" in blue is above a definition that reads, "When a man inserts a pocket pussy into another dude's asshole before having sex with him so it's not gay."

Anonymous

Rate my setup.

A photo of a keyboard, a syringe filled with a brown liquid, a spoon with residue, and pieces of what looks like a drug. All items are on a dark surface.