New Being Memes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

The image shows a series of panels from a movie with text overlay. The first panel shows a character in dark clothing asking, "Who are you?". The next panel shows a character with long hair, stating "I am Aragorn, King of Gondor". The third panel has the same long haired character, but the text says: "I didn't vote for you." followed by: "I was given Anduril by Elrond, Lord of Rivendell". The fourth panel says: "Listen, strange elf lords distributing swords is no basis for a system of government." and shows a character with a sword, the next panel below this one shows the same character shouting: "Shut up!". In the last panel the character says: "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

A whiteboard with the text "Days Without Ted Kaczynski Being Right:" and a zero marked with a diagonal line through it.

A news headline reads: "The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit Has Escaped Custody and Being Hunted By Police." Below the headline are two images: one shows police cars with flashing lights and the other shows the mugshot of the supposed bandit with wide eyes.

Ignore line & ovals

The image is a screenshot of a Facebook post. The post is a lengthy text about Islamic terrorism. The text includes a fictional dialogue that is supposed to be a parody of a conversation about terrorism. The fictional dialogue begins with a claim that the terrorists were told to act by holy texts. The fictional responses include blaming social and geopolitical reasons, accusing the terrorists of not being true Muslims, and even accepting blame for causing the terrorism.

Lmao another example of Amy being a petty little bitch

A screenshot of comments on a video titled "CODM Gunslinger Part 1: Ultimate Terminator". One highlighted comment from amyrulesthepizzaaa says "ABSOLUTE ASS" with fire emojis. Another comment from VancityMerc319 says, "Dang that turned out really blurry, sorry guys, dunno what happened it was fine before..." The final comment from beckwild343 says "you have a hidden talent but PLEASE keep that shit hidden" with fire and 100 emojis.

Me in a nutshell(on here anyways)

The image shows a still from the cartoon 'Rick and Morty'. Rick is on the right, with his characteristic spiky blue hair and lab coat, talking with a slightly maniacal expression on his face. Morty is on the left, looking dejected. In the center of the image is a text box overlay that reads: "Pros and Cons of being my friend. Cons: I'm an asshole. Pros: I'm your asshole."

Hello. Here's my story . An unemployed woman looking for love. I went on tindar because my friends were talking about it. I matched with a guy who asked me weird questions like if i could send pictures on my private areas, Being confident i said no.

A person is holding a fan of US dollar bills in front of their face. Only their eyes, part of their hat and their hand holding the money can be seen. The background is blurred and dark.

Light Yagami is being a bit rasict

A two-panel image. The left panel shows Light Yagami with an intense look. The right panel shows Ryuk with a surprised expression. The text in between reads: "AFRICA!" "Um, Light, that's not how it works." "MEXICO!"

I’m amazing!!!

A meme in the form of a comic strip showing different scenes from the movie Harry Potter, with Bellatrix speaking with a person in an interview and about how Sirius has matured. At the bottom is a line that says "trummy.co".

Me!

A multi-panel image showing a scene from an interview with a woman, presumably Bellatrix, next to a man in a suit. In the first two panels, she says "Could she, stop, okay. Come on." and the man says, "This is my ship." The next two panels have speech bubbles, "Interview: This is about growing up on Potter then, Okay. She hasn't. She's never grown up on Potter to this day when you..." and "Interview: Do you have any stories or anything about children any of the other people being around. "It's pretty much grown up with them."" The bottom row shows her saying, "My god. So much more handsome." and him saying, "He's really gotten into a suit.". The last panel shows her saying, "He does unbelievably more mature than me but that's not saying much."

Cleverbot being honest and a bit confused. 😂

A screenshot of a chat with Cleverbot. The conversation goes like this: It's okay, most people do feel like they're mean sometimes, even if they're not. Well good night! It's 2:40 pm. Here it is 11:17. I need filter when I speak, because I can be unintentionally rude sometimes. I'm just too honest. That's fked. How do I know who is you and who is me?

Why I come here instead of reddit nowadays >:\

The image shows Moe from The Simpsons with a noose around his neck, looking sad. Above him, the text says: "When all of your suicide memes get removed by the mods for being too edgy, but then you see someone else posting a suicide meme and getting 7.5k upvotes."

Bear

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, two figures stand outside a wall, looking at a bear sitting inside a walled area. The first figure says, "They can't be happy being locked up like that!" In the second panel, the second figure replies, "I dunno... all their needs are taken care of. Food, shelter, healthcare. They don't have to do anything." The third panel shows the same figure thinking. The last panel shows both figures looking at the bear.

Roses are red lord give me peace

The image is a split panel. The left side shows a blurry photo of emergency vehicles at night. The right side shows a mugshot of a man with wide eyes. Text above the panels reads "Roses are red Lord give me peace". Below the image the text says "The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit Has Escaped Custody And Being Hunted By Police."

How it used to be

The image shows a cartoon character with his arms stretched out, with the text "2020 is starting to feel like it's being run by this guy" above him.

Dont get mad when i post it on Average_Ohion cuz this is my alt im Average_Ohion

The image shows two panels. The first panel is a nighttime image of police vehicles with their lights flashing. The second panel shows a close-up of a man with wide eyes and a shocked expression. Text overlay reads, "Roses are red. Lord give me peace. The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit has escaped custody and is being hunted by police." It is signed 'By: Seymore Butts Posted Feb 23, 2023'

Like how do I say it?

A slightly blurry, off-white stone with the text "how do I say ok without being rude?" written above it.