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Captain

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

A two-panel image. The top panel features a Doge wearing a captain's hat inside a wooden ship cabin with the text: "Oh boy I sure do love being a captain of this boat in the middle of Pacific." The bottom panel shows a green Cheems character with tentacles on its face and wings, standing in a dark, stormy sea under a full moon, with the text: "Chtumlu".

Cuddle

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

Mmmmmm femboys…

A meme using a Renaissance-style painting of God, who is shown with a white beard and flowing robes, speaking in a thought bubble. The bubble contains the text: 'Let there be Boys Cuddling in bed.' Below the image of God, there are three separate anime-style illustrations depicting two male characters cuddling affectionately in a bed. A second, partially visible speech bubble shows a reaction: 'Awesome! Thank'.

Bill Clinton

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A blue-filtered, distressed anime drawing of a person sitting and covering their head in despair. Overlayed text reads: "Being a guy is crazy cuz the moment you turn 13, you're competing with President of United States Bill Clinton 💀💀".

Afghanistan

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A photograph of a television screen showing the streaming service Tubi. The movie displayed is titled "Osombie," listed as 2012, 1 hr 35 min, TV-MA, Action, Horror. The synopsis reads: "While in Afghanistan, a Colorado yoga instructor and a NATO special forces team encounter an undead Osama Bin-Laden and his zombie terrorist army." The movie poster image shows the zombie Osama Bin-Laden with glowing blue eyes and a beard. Over the image, text says, "tubi genuinely be having anything."

Boy

Shitpost master-general · 9 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet by Jared Taylor, @RealJarTaylor, on X.com. The tweet states, "Black boys from households that make $700,000 a year go to prison at the same rate as white boys from households that make $36,000 a year." Below this, it adds, "AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE BECAUSE OF SYSTEMIC RACISM !! The Left does great research for us." Underneath the text, there is a graph titled "THE UPSHOT: Extensive Data Shows Punishing Reach of Racism for Black Boys," which illustrates the "Share of the men incarcerated on April 1, 2010." The graph plots incarceration rates against parental household income, showing a blue line for "Black men" and a yellow line for "White men." An annotation within the graph reads, "The sons of black families from the top 1 percent had about the same chance of being incarcerated on a given day as the sons of white families earning $36,000." Points on the graph are labeled "Families making $36,000 per year" and "Families in the top 1 percent," indicating a "Same Incarceration rate."

Baby

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A sleeping newborn baby lies in a grey bassinet with a mobile featuring a heart-shaped ornament hanging above it. White text at the top reads, "STORK DENIERS BE LIKE," and white text at the bottom says, "MUST HAVE BEEN SEX."

Rome

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

The image shows the Colosseum in Rome under a bright sky with a sunburst. Overlayed on the image is text in white font that reads: "Rome building starts tomorrow at 7AM sharp. Don't be late because they only gave us one day to do it." In the bottom right corner, there is a small red alarm clock.

Plant

Shitpost master-general · 9 months ago

A four-panel comic. In the first panel, a woman with a green bow in her hair waters a basil plant with a red watering can. In the second, she looks sad while watering an empty pot labeled "Thyme", next to other pots labeled "Rosemary" and "Nirnroot". In the third panel, she asks a man, "Honey, why isn't my Thyme growing?" He replies, "Be patient. Give it some Thyme." In the fourth panel, the woman is in a hospital bed with an IV drip. A bear-like doctor shows her an X-ray of a human chest, with a bone clearly labeled "Thymus". The comic is attributed to Enzo Comics and CUEK.CO.

Anxiety

Anonymous · 9 months ago

Yeah no that's like telling someone deaf to listen more

An image of an elderly man, known as 'Hide the Pain Harold,' raising his arms in celebration with a forced, pained smile. The text overlay reads: 'when someone says ‘don’t be anxious’ and your anxiety is cured'

Clash of Clans

Shitpost master-general · 9 months ago

Dongs in a wait

A meme shows two structures from the mobile game Clash of Clans. Above the left structure, a timer reads '17d 23H' (17 days, 23 hours). Above the right structure, a timer reads '16d 23H' (16 days, 23 hours). The top text overlay reads: 'Clash of Clans players be like: OMG this is sick gameplay'.

Offer

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A screenshot of an online marketplace interface. The text reads: "Your offer wasn't accepted. Make a new offer?" Below that, the item's "Price" is listed as "US $350.00", the "Previous Offer" as "US $20.00", and the "Message from seller" states: "You should be shot."

Hammer

Big Jim · 9 months ago

It could be if you believe

Braille

Big Jim · 9 months ago

Amazing idea

A split image shows two white square highway signs with a black border. Both signs display '70' in large black numbers and have the word 'SPEED' (or a misspelling of it) above. The left sign correctly says 'SPEED 70' with Braille dots below the numbers. The right sign misspells it as 'SP EEED 70' and also has Braille dots below the numbers. Above the signs, text reads: 'SHARE IF YOU AGREE HIGHWAY SIGNS SHOULD BE WRITTEN IN BRAILLE SO THAT BLIND DRIVERS DONT GET LOST. ONE LIKE ONE PRAYER! TYPE AMEN IN TGE COMMENTS'.

Shrek

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A cartoon illustration shows Shrek, a green, ogre-like character, wearing a wedding dress adorned with insect patterns and a purple suit, holding a cactus bouquet. He stands next to a crocodile dressed in a patterned robe, holding a book, appearing to officiate a wedding. The text below reads: "Shrek decided to marry whatever this thing is. No priest would officiate because God hated Shrek for being alive, so they used a crocodile."

Account

Shitpost master-general · 10 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter (or X) feed on a dark background. The top section shows 'Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper' with a 'Subscribe' button and the text 'BREAKING: Official Elmo account hacked'. Below this are three posts from a verified 'Elmo @elmo' account.
The first tweet, posted '44s' ago, reads: 'Elmo says ALL JEWS SHOULD DIE. FUCK JEWS. DONALD TRUMP IS NETANYAHU'S PUPPET BECAUSE HE IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. JEWS CONTROL THE WORLD AND NEED TO BE EXTERMINATED.'
The second tweet, posted '7m' ago, reads: 'RELEASE THE FILES @realDonaldTrump CHILD FUCKER'.
The third tweet, posted '10m' ago, reads: 'Kill all Jews.'
The bottom of the screenshot shows '7:22 PM . 13 Jul 25 . 2.2M Views'.

Sense Of Humor

Willy b · 10 months ago

A white Smart car is seen from behind, driving on a highway, seemingly behind a larger RV. A handwritten sign is taped to its bumper, which reads: 'BE PATIENT. I'M PUSHING AS FAST AS I CAN!' Above the car, meme text states: 'WHEN YOU'RE SLOW BUT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT IT.' The image also has a CocoFun watermark at the bottom.

Elephant

Lil’ bro · 10 months ago

A close-up shot of a single, plump, and vibrantly green grape against a black background. The surface of the grape is smooth and slightly reflective. There are no visible stems, leaves, or other elements in the frame, allowing the grape to be the sole focus. The lighting highlights the curvature and translucency of the fruit.

Family

Shit-post master general · 10 months ago

It’s so cold make it stop

A cartoon image of Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants lying in bed, wide awake with a distressed, almost horrified expression, not peacefully sleeping. A small teddy bear is tucked in next to him. The text overlaid on the image reads: "How I sleep at night after killing the evil skin walkers who kept pretending to be my family:"

Pringles

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

The image shows a nighttime street scene with a sidewalk, houses, and parked cars under a street light. A person is holding a red Pringles can in the foreground. Overlaid text reads: "Some random homeless dude said if I eat his ass he'll give me Pringles. Be safe out there." Below the text, a praying hands emoji is visible. The TikTok handle "@scottmesiduc" is in the bottom right corner.

T-shirt

Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

An older man with white hair smiles while pushing a shopping cart in a store. He wears a black t-shirt that says 'I love GOONING' with a red heart symbol made of two shaking hands. Text overlaid on the image reads: 'My guy can not be wearing ts in public 😭'.

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