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Plant

Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A four-panel comic. In the first panel, a woman with a green bow in her hair waters a basil plant with a red watering can. In the second, she looks sad while watering an empty pot labeled "Thyme", next to other pots labeled "Rosemary" and "Nirnroot". In the third panel, she asks a man, "Honey, why isn't my Thyme growing?" He replies, "Be patient. Give it some Thyme." In the fourth panel, the woman is in a hospital bed with an IV drip. A bear-like doctor shows her an X-ray of a human chest, with a bone clearly labeled "Thymus". The comic is attributed to Enzo Comics and CUEK.CO.

Anxiety

Anonymous · 7 months ago

Yeah no that's like telling someone deaf to listen more

An image of an elderly man, known as 'Hide the Pain Harold,' raising his arms in celebration with a forced, pained smile. The text overlay reads: 'when someone says ‘don’t be anxious’ and your anxiety is cured'

Clash of Clans

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

Dongs in a wait

A meme shows two structures from the mobile game Clash of Clans. Above the left structure, a timer reads '17d 23H' (17 days, 23 hours). Above the right structure, a timer reads '16d 23H' (16 days, 23 hours). The top text overlay reads: 'Clash of Clans players be like: OMG this is sick gameplay'.

Offer

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A screenshot of an online marketplace interface. The text reads: "Your offer wasn't accepted. Make a new offer?" Below that, the item's "Price" is listed as "US $350.00", the "Previous Offer" as "US $20.00", and the "Message from seller" states: "You should be shot."

Hammer

Big Jim · 7 months ago

It could be if you believe

Braille

Big Jim · 7 months ago

Amazing idea

A split image shows two white square highway signs with a black border. Both signs display '70' in large black numbers and have the word 'SPEED' (or a misspelling of it) above. The left sign correctly says 'SPEED 70' with Braille dots below the numbers. The right sign misspells it as 'SP EEED 70' and also has Braille dots below the numbers. Above the signs, text reads: 'SHARE IF YOU AGREE HIGHWAY SIGNS SHOULD BE WRITTEN IN BRAILLE SO THAT BLIND DRIVERS DONT GET LOST. ONE LIKE ONE PRAYER! TYPE AMEN IN TGE COMMENTS'.

Shrek

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A cartoon illustration shows Shrek, a green, ogre-like character, wearing a wedding dress adorned with insect patterns and a purple suit, holding a cactus bouquet. He stands next to a crocodile dressed in a patterned robe, holding a book, appearing to officiate a wedding. The text below reads: "Shrek decided to marry whatever this thing is. No priest would officiate because God hated Shrek for being alive, so they used a crocodile."

Account

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter (or X) feed on a dark background. The top section shows 'Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper' with a 'Subscribe' button and the text 'BREAKING: Official Elmo account hacked'. Below this are three posts from a verified 'Elmo @elmo' account.
The first tweet, posted '44s' ago, reads: 'Elmo says ALL JEWS SHOULD DIE. FUCK JEWS. DONALD TRUMP IS NETANYAHU'S PUPPET BECAUSE HE IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. JEWS CONTROL THE WORLD AND NEED TO BE EXTERMINATED.'
The second tweet, posted '7m' ago, reads: 'RELEASE THE FILES @realDonaldTrump CHILD FUCKER'.
The third tweet, posted '10m' ago, reads: 'Kill all Jews.'
The bottom of the screenshot shows '7:22 PM . 13 Jul 25 . 2.2M Views'.

Sense Of Humor

Willy b · 7 months ago

A white Smart car is seen from behind, driving on a highway, seemingly behind a larger RV. A handwritten sign is taped to its bumper, which reads: 'BE PATIENT. I'M PUSHING AS FAST AS I CAN!' Above the car, meme text states: 'WHEN YOU'RE SLOW BUT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT IT.' The image also has a CocoFun watermark at the bottom.

Elephant

Lil’ bro · 7 months ago

A close-up shot of a single, plump, and vibrantly green grape against a black background. The surface of the grape is smooth and slightly reflective. There are no visible stems, leaves, or other elements in the frame, allowing the grape to be the sole focus. The lighting highlights the curvature and translucency of the fruit.

Family

Shit-post master general · 7 months ago

It’s so cold make it stop

A cartoon image of Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants lying in bed, wide awake with a distressed, almost horrified expression, not peacefully sleeping. A small teddy bear is tucked in next to him. The text overlaid on the image reads: "How I sleep at night after killing the evil skin walkers who kept pretending to be my family:"

Pringles

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

The image shows a nighttime street scene with a sidewalk, houses, and parked cars under a street light. A person is holding a red Pringles can in the foreground. Overlaid text reads: "Some random homeless dude said if I eat his ass he'll give me Pringles. Be safe out there." Below the text, a praying hands emoji is visible. The TikTok handle "@scottmesiduc" is in the bottom right corner.

T-shirt

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

An older man with white hair smiles while pushing a shopping cart in a store. He wears a black t-shirt that says 'I love GOONING' with a red heart symbol made of two shaking hands. Text overlaid on the image reads: 'My guy can not be wearing ts in public 😭'.

Michigan

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A meme showing a map of Michigan. Text at the top reads: 'Bro why tf they say Michigan looks like a 'mitten' ?? the thumb would have to be huge'. A Photoshopped hand is placed over the map, with a large, disproportionate thumb covering Michigan's Upper Peninsula and the rest of the hand covering the Lower Peninsula, ironically illustrating the point about the thumb's size.

Online comment

RapBoat · 9 months ago

A screenshot of a dark-themed YouTube comment section. The main content is a lengthy comment from a user named "IvanLubin" which starts with "IQ?" and discusses the high IQ supposedly needed to understand Playboi Carti's music, referencing theoretical physics, nihilism, and Russian literature. It calls those who dislike Carti "idiots." The comment then shifts to praising Kanye West's album "DONDA" as a "cultural reset," followed by a comparison of choosing "Dinner with Jay Z" over $500,000 for financial success. The comment abruptly ends with a bizarre, explicit, and disturbing fantasy about wanting to have a baby with "Travis," describing the birth process in graphic detail. A red circle highlights the last few lines of the comment, which detail the desire to have a baby.

Song

RapBoat · 9 months ago

A screenshot of an online poll. The question asks, "If you had to DELETE a song from history, which one would it be?" The options are listed with album art, song titles, and percentages of votes: "4 Your Eyez Only" (27%), "m.A.A.d city" (9%), "Can't Tell Me Nothing" (59%), and "N.Y. State of Mind" (5%). The poll has received 9.3K votes.

Song

RapBoat · 9 months ago

A social media post featuring various album covers and celebrity images, overlaid with text. The main text reads 'Ring Ring Ring is everything that Drake wanted Nokia to be,' with red arrows pointing to different images, including Drake holding a mortar and pestle, 6ix9ine in an orange shirt, and album covers for Gorillaz and Common. Text at the bottom identifies 'Rodrigue music - Ring Ring Ring' and a user comment 'Dare I say best song on the album?' Social media engagement metrics are visible, showing millions of likes, hundreds of comments, and shares.

Man

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A screenshot of a video platform resembling YouTube, featuring a video titled "Twink Starts Liking Men After Receiving Heart Transplant From Gay Man". The video is from "DisruptiveFilms" and includes tags like "threesome", "deepthroat", "pounding", "twink", "bareback", "anal", and "tattoos", along with the name "Jared Kent". The video thumbnail shows two shirtless men. Below the video, a comment from user "bkusa" reads: "Nice refreshing story line, actors didn't look like porn stars which was a plus but you made a huge mistake. coming from someone who has had open heart surgery the young man who received the organ shows no incision for the rib cage to be cut down the sternum then spread open so the transplant could happen. Serious make up is missing on this and is the only thing I can think of that would stop a 5 star rating in my opinion."

Meme

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

Joint

Another New Blach · 9 months ago

A large, imposing, armored figure with a crown, resembling Yhorm the Giant from Dark Souls III, stands against a stormy, yellowish sky. Text over this figure reads: "Sign language w Double Jointed mfs". Below, a much smaller, armored figure, resembling the Ashen One, stands at the giant's feet. Text over the smaller figure reads: "Scottish Dielect being the hardest to understand".

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