Live-forever jokes

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"

I'm dying to live forever!

Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.

But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"

"Only in your dreams."

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

Life's too short to want it.

"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.