Last person jokes

What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.

He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!

I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.

The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.

I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.

Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

Humanity.

I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.

My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.

-JFK

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Well, probably the person in front of them.