What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
What animal lies? A lion.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Monky.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
