Joke

What's the point in staying alive if your a piece of shit, failure at everything, rejected, forever unwanted, allways been alone and know I will allways be alone Untill I die which will never be soon enough and that's the worst thing living life when you already have so much hate for yourself then compounding it with knowing that your unlovable, the worst ugliest and evil people still had someone that loved them so I must be worse, a woman would rather be with a ugly, disrespectful belittling cheater than with someone that would treat them good,I can't even get one, I'm 31 being alone it's the worst feeling there is, but sadly I understand nothing I do or will ever do it would be ever good enough no amount of money nothing I'm such a failure I can't even kill myself something I wish forever because I know for next 40 or 50 years I'm going to live in the worst torture you can think of hell I wish I was being physically tortured I don't think it'll be that bad it's sadly it's only getting worse it's so bad I don't even have really anyone to even talk to I live at home alone and don't even have any pets , so I suppose the whole joke is there is no God and this just proves it more like Satan cuz that's the only person I can think of that will do this to someone make him see everyday just how unwanted he really is but no all I get is to watch people together and know that it will never happen for me , I can't even get up the courage to end my life cuz I'm that much of a coward and a b****, why do I have to be in healthy shape I wish that I wasn't I wish that I had cancer just so I can die more so I never asked to be here I wish there was a way that I could just give my life to someone else someone that deserves it because I know I will never be happy but one thing is looking up because I always thought that was going to have to endure all of this pain and misery and rejection and being alone until I die 30 40 50 years from now however I feel it's going to be a lot sooner soon very soon and I'm looking forward to it I feel it I feel something bad is going to happen but then again wouldn't it be something good technically anyway maybe God has been listening don't believe there's one anyway but maybe my prayers are finally being answered since I was 10 all I've ever wanted was two things to someone to love me and to die because I knew the first one would never happen and being alive is not worth it 31years old and I hate myself more than anything in the world so if they are people out there who believe in god pray to him to end my suffering because he doesn't want to listen to me who could blame him sorry it was long joke and if you don't know what the joke was it's simple MY LIFE Respond if you want but I wouldn't even wast your time