Irish jokes

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.

Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!

What did the suicidal leprechaun say?

"Irish I was dead."

An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.

"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?

They're both fun to flip off.

An Irish guy walks out of a bar....