Hes jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?
Because he can't sign the parent's signature.
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
Person one: Why did the boy go home?
Person two: Why?
Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.