Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?
A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.
All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.
I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.
Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.
And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")
But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)
Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket
So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)
And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)
I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long
My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
why is lebron james an orphan? bc he dosent fortnite
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
