Hes jokes
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
Why do orphans like Darth Vader?
So he can say, "I'm your father!"
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!