So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
Hes Jokes
What does Finn Wolfhard do when he makes a good joke?
He drops the Mike.
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
Roses are red, violets are violet,
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
