Handwear jokes

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

A pair of gloves!

Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.