Fairy Godmother jokes
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.