What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
DoS Jokes
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?
It’s the only place they can vote!
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
