DoS jokes
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
When do astronauts eat lunch?
At launch time.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Why do people have sex? Because they're dumb.