DoS jokes
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
What do you think of your mom? I can do it.
Hi, how are you doing today?
Why do Lebanese go to school? Tabouli!
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Dear Grad Parents,
Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.
There will be more information to follow in the coming days.
Thank you.
Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.
Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf
Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.
(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)
Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"
Why do orphans go to church?
They go there to finally call someone "father."
An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"
"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
How do fish get to school?
On a octobus.
Lol.
Do I sit broken-hearted?
I came to sh*t and only farted.