DoS jokes
I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
(classic)
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!