DoS jokes
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
Why do Americans suck at chess? Because they lost two towers.
Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?
It doesn’t hit home.
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Suicide squad.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?
None fave. Foch heads.
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.