DoS jokes
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?
Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because dad never came home with the milk.
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.