DoS jokes
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
Because they will have someone to call "daddy" for once.
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?