DoS jokes
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
Woman do have rights!
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
What do you call a group of emo kids? Suicide squad.
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
What do you call a group of depressed people? The Suicide Squad.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
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What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.