DoS jokes
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What do you call a cute door?
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan.
Why do orphans always become criminals?
Because they want to feel wanted.
What do you call an Asian phone? Wing Wing.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.
Alright, what do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.
"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."
The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"