DoS jokes
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."