Do jokes
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
What do you call an emo who's emo?
An emo.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?
A. Osama Bin Ballin'.
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What do you call a fetus with Down syndrome? An abortion.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.