Deathbed jokes

Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?

A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!

Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."

A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...

I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.

My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.

When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.