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GENESIS 44 A Silver Cup in a Sack 1Now Joseph gave these instructions to the steward of his house: “Fill the men’s sacks with as much food as they can carry, and put each man’s silver in the mouth of his sack. 2Then put my cup, the silver one, in the mouth of the youngest one’s sack, along with the silver for his grain.” And he did as Joseph said. 3As morning dawned, the men were sent on their way with their donkeys.… Read more

I walks up to my girlfriend and says to her, “Want to play the firetruck game?” She says, “Sure, how do you play it?” I says, “I place my finger at the bottom of your leg and run it up, and you say red light when you want me to stop.” She says yes, and I begin. I start to get close to reaching up her skirt, she says, “Red light!” I looks at her and I smile wickedly and says, “Firetrucks don’t stop for red lights.” She laughs as I start to rape her.

My sixth grade band concert is tonight. Hopefully we don’t mess up on stage. I’m pretty sure the only problems we might have are tempo and the flutes messing up their notes like they do 100% of the time in practice. Rather than that we’re set

GENESIS 42 Joseph’s Brothers Go to Egypt 1When Jacob learned that there was grain for sale in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why do you look at one another?” 2And he said, “Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die.” 3So ten of Joseph’s brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. 4But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, with his… Read more

The Weeknd:] I understand, your body wants it I know your thoughts, oh you 'bout it, 'bout it You're a big girl, and it's your world And I'ma let you do it how you (Wanna, girl, I'll)

Ride with it, ride with it I know you know, I know you wanna ride with it Don't be shy with it, I'll supply with it I got you, girl, oh, I got it, girl With your Louis V. bag, tats on your arms High heel shoes make you six feet tall Ev… Read more

GENESIS 32 Jacob Prepares to Meet Esau 1Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him. 2When Jacob saw them, he said, “This is the camp of God!” So he named that place Mahanaim. 3Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4He instructed them: “This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and hav… Read more

GENESIS 29 Jacob Arrives in Paddan Aram 1Then Jacob continued on his journey and came to the land of the eastern peoples. 2There he saw a well in the open country, with three flocks of sheep lying near it because the flocks were watered from that well. The stone over the mouth of the well was large. 3When all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone away from the well’s mouth and water the s… Read more

GENESIS 28 1So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him. Then he commanded him: “Do not marry a Canaanite woman. 2Go at once to Paddan Aram, to the house of your mother’s father Bethuel. Take a wife for yourself there, from among the daughters of Laban, your mother’s brother. 3May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples. 4May he give you and your de… Read more

hey guys look what my cousin said im telling tracy to make sure your in trouble now this is why your roof is falling in and you got to boil creek water to wash your stinky ass you wear makeup and whore clothes for attention from guys because u dont get any at home no one loves you you put so much makup on you look like a prostitute and the only way you can get attention iss wearing clothes with your ass out like gir… Read more

GENESIS 26 Isaac and Abimelek 1Now there was a famine in the land—besides the previous famine in Abraham’s time—and Isaac went to Abimelek king of the Philistines in Gerar. 2The Lord appeared to Isaac and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; live in the land where I tell you to live. 3Stay in this land for a while, and I will be with you and will bless you. For to you and your descendants I will give all these lands and w… Read more

GENESIS 24 Isaac and Rebekah 1Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4but will go to my country … Read more

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang… Read more

GENESIS 22 Abraham Tested 1Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. 2Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” 3Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut … Read more