Lovely Cup of Tea After Gym

*leaf water

cuppa tea :)

cuppa leaf water

tea

u have my second cup of coffee

*i

not u

lol

i love coffee actually

my legs are dead as fuck

its delicious

i did legs today and now my legs are tired

tell them to come back to life 💁‍♀️

frrrr

LOL okidoke

lmao

lol

they wont come back to life

thats hella disrespectful

ikr

bark to assert dominance

like i mean i did make them run on treadmills about 50 times and do biceps like 2 times but

assert dominance.

they still dont have reason to be rude to me like that

LOL

if they get out of line you bark at them

lol

wait

thats what i always do

if i bark my dog will come and attack me

then you bite the dog back

assert dominance

if a shark eats your arm you eat its baby

bahaha

prioritize dominance over all else.

help what is this

are u sure your mal?

lolzzzz

yes im mal

im just dominant mal/

lol

ok dominant mal

ive switched to a lifestyle of dominance

lol

i drink gasoline for breakfast

oh!

i have an american flag blanket

i swear trump tshirts

i have a pet bald eagle that i tamed myself

i drink beer instead of water

im dominant mal.

oh-

well idk what i am

im sporty but i look like a FUCKING NeRD

😭

i j look like a basic 17 year old girl

:(

i dont even look 13 :(

ppl usually think im younger cus im short

lol im acc quite tall for my age

im 5'5

ohh nice lmao

im 5'2

oh lol

did you know jake is 10 feet tall

theres this kid in the youngest year at my school and shes TINYY

HUH

daaaamn

lmao

im jk

haha

i got to get outta swimming today hehe

or maybe im not

oooo funnn

oop

yeah jakes a giant smh

ooo shiver me timbers i just got a blast of cold air from nowhere

im in my room

woahhh

oop

im freeezingggg

yeah its kinda freaky but its ok

lol

noooo

thers this RLLY tall kid in my year and hes taller than doorframes

daaamn

my dads taller than doorframes lmao

but jakes taller than everyone

lol fr my dads like 6foot

and my grandads like 6'2

my dads 6'11 😭

woah

thats crazy

not as crazy as 10 feet

6'11? PUNY

I AM 10 FEET TALL

I WILL STOMP OUT MY OPPOSITION

LITERALLY

COME FIGHT ME I HAVE MOUNTAIN DEW IN MY VEINS

gotta squish them opps fr

LIKE ANTS

RAHHHHH

oh

erm

uh oh

lovely

loving the energy there

jakes gonna squish me lmao

LOL

NO I WILL BE GENTLE AND CARING WITH YOU

images of the shoter just got released

I'LL CRADLE YOU IN MY MASSIVE ARMS LIKE A SMALL DOVE

sure sure sure

oh my

I MEAN IT

PREPARE TO BE CRADLED

AND NURTURED

sir im loving the energy how ever

I AM LIKE A MOTHER BIRD

idek

jakes gonna get up to drink water at 1 am and crush me cus its too dark

lol

We don't care

ok mother bird

tis mum

Please keep the politics in the other post, Opal and Cosmo

guys keep the debates in the other chat por favor

This is no place for that

I'm asking him to keep it out?

No, you're saying you don't care, which has rude connotations

ANYWAY

The "we don't care" was to say move to a different post

ANYWAYS

Other chat please and thanks!

Jake when's matt making you mod again

por favor everyone

how are yall :)

jake hows the weather up there

You both can have your pointless arguments but please don't infect this post with them :D

bahah

It's IMMACULATE

You can't fight the Homestuck though

I CAN SMELL THE CLOUDS

i bet you drink them

yeah dont ruin my cup of tea gym post :)

What would clouds taste like

i already ruined it with my dominance

oh! lovely! what do they smell like

rain water

Are you the Dom in the relationship

Jkjk

THEY TASTE AMAZING

LIKE RAINBOWS

AND ROCK CANDY

Skittles?

i would be is jake wasnt twice my size smhsmh

fucking 10 footer

All about energy all about power we stay hungry we devour

He's 5'7 btw

I AM MASSIVE

FALSE

You know what else is massive?

hes 10 feet tall

IM NEARLY AS TALL AS HIM

LOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW TAPER FADE

WTFF

I'm 5'7

Wait Mal how tall are you

im 5'5 at 13

I'M NOT 5'7" MOTHERFUCKERS

im 5'2

I AM 10 FEET TALL

PERIOD

mhmmm thats what someone who is 5'7 would say

Why is this girl in my class staring me down

idk lol

FALSE

its also smth someone who is 10' would say

i finished skl 2 hours ago and left the bulding 1 hr ago

mhmmmm yh definelty

nah true

the height revs going crazy rn

fr

making me feel short

BABY DOVE

GET CRADLED

BOOYEAH

AND THEN CRUSHED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

NOT-SO-BOOYEAH

i think my mum is making beans on toast yummy

NOT YUMMY

Your mum

Briish

yes

NOT GONNA HAPPEN

my mum

Ok I'm gonna go now

Byeee

byeee

i smell beans

mhm mhm

yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i smell pennies.

I smell penis

*pennies

ofc you do

i read "is smell penis"

I*

LOL I READ THAT

Lmao

wait i dont make any sense

BAHAH

Alr I'm quoting this lmao

Quotebook

HEy king

yes immediately

Lets go

Key queen

Hey*

Wtf

Anyways

Key Queen 🗝️👑

im not having benas on toast :(

.......

beans*

benas

penas

penis

im having curry that smells like beans

....

The formation of words

penis

penis

thats jakes favorite food

what a lovely word1

!*

stupid laptop

lmao

JAKE.

HELL NO

wait i read word not food

YOU FUCKING 10 FEET TALL GAY ASS MAMMOTH MAN CHILD

what

erm

uh

hmm

heh

never said that

never said what

Dont deny it

im just stating the true facts here

dont mind me :)

IM NOT GAY

okay mammoth man

thats what someone who is gay would say

false

nope

Welp I gotta get to class, see ya everyone!!!

i state facts only

byee

cyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa <3

Byeeee <3333

whatd that say.

Byeeee

nothing bye hehehehehehe I love you!!! :DDDD

Noooothiingg....

im moving to alaska if you dont tell me jake/

why are you saying bye to me 😭

Oh nvm

oh no not alaska thats not nice

lol

it borders... (russia) !!!

the silence...

Isnt alaska in america

yeah

and it borders russia

in winter you can walk across the border from alaska into russia

i leanrt this yesterday in geography

we are learning abt russia

Damn i never learned about russia in my geography class

oh

we are learning about why it is so big

and all that

Damn

actually

That sounds borning

geography made me think abt history

and in hisotry we are doing ww1

and that reminded me in yr 7

They are pretty similar in a sense

my crush and this boy, they saw the booklet

for ww1

and did the n.a.z.i salute to each other

and they both got detention

oop

deserved

yeah

Bro once this dummy in my class did the same thing and smiled afterwards

they were both laughing when they did it

lik,e idk what went through their heads

Thats even worse

yup

ooo the curry smells rlly good

Oooooo

yeahhhhhhhh

I love curry

help i relaised im doing so much sports this year

samee

Damn

monday - netball tuesday - gym wednesday - gym thursday - rotating between football and gym

So friday is the only acception?

yup and the weekend

damn

yeah but i guess its good

yeah

i miss sports

last year i didnt do a single sport :(

i went to football 2 times and then quit

Oh damn

twss

yeah

what?

that;s what she said

BAHAHAHAHAHHS

oh

oop

why does chat keep going dead 💔

BOO

im busy asserting dominance

ahhh you scared me

lol

busy asking me if I'd love you if you were the size of a peanut

oh haha

thats very dominating of me

fr

i gotta ask the important questions

most dominating thing IVE ever heard :)

you haven't seen freaky non-submissive wade then

idc how much money you have or how tall you are i just need to make sure youd still love me if i somehow shrunk

my goodness that boy could assert himself in ways I never would've imagined

Absolutely, I'd love you no matter what

ik you have smh

unfortunately yes

"unfortunately"

perfect

wait what does non submissive mean

my dumb ass

dominant

It meams non submissive

wow uk that is so insanely helpful lmao

WOAH so helpful

ty

the prefix non- before a word basically means NOT

i know that :)

same does un

Un submissive

unidentifiable

each can only be used for specific words

some for both

underpants

Unity

UNITE

UNITED

KINGDON

UNITED KINDGOM

wow

that was

so gay

ALL HAIL KING CHARLES

like

captain underpants

I can't even describe

yesss

how gay that was

WHO

jake you cant even be talking

real

IM NOT GAY

YOU KNOW THIS

ARE YOU A MAN?

no im not

EXACTLY

weve discussed this

smh

I'M IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN

NOT A MAN

youre using me cus you dont want people to think youre gay

BAHA

THAT HAS NEVER BEEN AGREED

EVER

yeah i just used my big fat beautiful brain to figure it out

lol

NOPE

YOU'RE WRONG

Right*

so my brain isnt big fat or beautiful ☹️

I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL.

pfffffft

your brain IS big fat and beautiful ignore jake smh

tytyty queen

Jake look at what you made mal think

its very pink and not smooth

I HAVE MY CURRY HEHEH

literally heartbroken over here

Your brain probably looks like a glorious pink raisin

but

massive

should i be offended or flattered

flattered, it's entirely complimentary

like my brothers forehead

okok lmao

Jake just called mal raisin-brained.

LOL

Like my...

uh oh

noooo

dont say it

jakes gonna go crazy

smh

i told you

my eyes

he cant control himself

okay im done

hes prolly drooling rn

this hurts my eyes

lmaoooo

Who could when thinking about dicks?

lol

smh

HM?

non-gay men

fr haha

did yall know im actually not 5'2

help im sat on my bedroom floow eating curry over my laptop and my phone wtf is wrong with me

^^^

floor*

insert poo key to select yo floop

muahahahaha

wha

niche reference

JAKERS

i restored the comment

I saw

Jake you fw hum

Very good band

muahahahahaha

I just refuse to partake in your SLANDER

am i right

NO.

or am i right

Mama

brrb

Youre drooling rn

I AM NOT DROOLING.

Mama y papa

Reminds me of how my psych teacher conditioned us to salivate upon hearing the word "pavlov"

what a dirty trick

What

jake stop drooling

thats weird

drooling is weird jake

thats weird

jake its rlly weird

stop drooling

stop

stoppppp

Jake is salivating everywhere

STOP

AHH

hes like a dog

NO I REFUSE

Hes moaning too

keep your spit in your mouth jake