Cat And Mouse jokes

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”

He responded with, “The cat is dead.”

She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”

“She’s playing on the roof.”

Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?

Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."

How do you pet a psychopath's cat?

You get it out of the microwave.

What do gay people and mice have in common?

They both hate pussy cats!

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.