Barkeep jokes

Bar

  • Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

    The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

    Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

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  • Bear

  • A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

    The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

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  • Bar

  • Also gehen Addison, Gwen und Bradley alle in eine Bar. Dann schreien sie alle an, sie sollen aufhören, Bier zu trinken, weil sie es nicht mögen. Dann schreien sie den Barkeeper an und sagen, er solle das Bier nicht verkaufen, weil sie es nicht mögen. Die Kunden lachen sie als Paviane aus.

    Was machen Addison, Gwen und Bradley? Sie kommen auf diese Seite und argumentieren, dass Witze zu gemein sind, und weil sie sie nicht mögen, stoppen sie jeden, der sie als WITZ macht. Das Ende.

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  • Train

  • A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

    "A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

    "Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

    Drink

  • A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."

    The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"

    The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."

    The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"

    She says, "Vinegar and water."

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  • Drink

  • A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

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  • Bar

  • So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

    The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

    Jesus

  • Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.

    "13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.

    "Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.

    "You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.

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