Arthur jokes

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?

Circumference.

What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?

Circumference.

The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.

I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.

I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.

An Irish-man walks out of a bar.

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

I got kicked out of the library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.