Animal Abuse Jokes

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.

I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

I saw a man trying to rape a dog. I decided to help. The dog can't stand a chance against the both of us.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

How do you pet a psychopath's cat?

You get it out of the microwave.