Animal shelter jokes

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.

Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!

Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!

Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.

Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!

Students: No, that's not funny!

Student: SHUT UP!

What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

The puppies actually get adopted.

A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.

It was a shih tzu.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu.