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Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

  • 6

    • What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

    It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!

    Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."

  • 0

    • I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.

    I woke up and my pillow was gone.

    I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.

  • 1

    • I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

    And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

    What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."

  • 2

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.

    Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...

    Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"

    The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."

    After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.

    Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

    He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

    "Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

    Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

    So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

    One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

  • 5

    • Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

    What is different about priests and acne?

    Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.

  • 4

    • "And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

    "You stabbed my brother!"

    "It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

    What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?

    One has water; the other one doesn’t.

  • 0

    • Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”

    The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”