And jokes

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

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  • What is the difference between a car and a tree?

    A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

    Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?

    Because they were using the computer and thought about it.

    What is the difference between a human and a house? A human can walk, and a house cannot walk.

    What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?

    Then you get the name Chrisa.

    A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!

    If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.

    What is the difference between a human and a bird?

    A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.

    Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”

    And then you die inside.

    So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?

    One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!

    What is the difference between a house and a car? A car can drive and a house can not drive.