And jokes

Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.

What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?

I had a good night, and I love it when you get a good walk and you get to.

Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!

What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?

I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.

What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?

What is the difference between a human and a magic house!?

A magic house 🏡 can fly, and a human can walk.

I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"

What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂

A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"

A boy and his mother survived a car crash.

The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."

So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."

A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."

Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.

What’s the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber 🥒