And jokes
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."
So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"
And then she died.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?
Because they don't have a home.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
What's something yellow and cannot swim?
A bus full of children.
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."