And jokes
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.
Look at my name and you'll see.
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
Chloe Lutwyche, Bella Battese, and Hayley Wilson.
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
Life sucks, and so does the vacuum, and other things.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
I'm an Alabama gamer and I wanna be free.
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."