And jokes
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's parents?
The clock actually comes back around.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.