And jokes

Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?

Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

Me: Wanna play a game?

Sister: Ya, what is it?

Me: Tic tac toe.

Sister:?

Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.

Me: Tic tac toe.

What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?

They both thank you for your financial support.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.

It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.

What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?

A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?

One of them actually came back.

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"