And jokes
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starts, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus, you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."