I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
Vegetative Whore
I should probably stop making abortion jokes.
After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.
I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
My son's class is having a career day next week.
He was all embarrassed about having a mother who works at the AISH office.
We've agreed that I'll tell his class I'm a prostitute.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
I don't laugh at Trump.
I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
I was wrong about AISH workers having no value.
If you get to them soon enough after the murder, you can harvest a few organs.
I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.
So I told her to go stand in front of one.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.