Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Hiii :3 Im a silly gal who loves Monsters n' Creatures n' silly things like that! My favorites are Godzilla (ofc), Ultraman, Gamera, and all monsters from the Monster Hunter franchise!

Registered on 12/15/2023 · 26 followers · Last active 1 month ago

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image shows a Twitter thread. Ernie Keebler tweets about getting an email from a Nigerian prince and not being sure how sending 900 Fudge Stripes will help. Jacob replies positively, mentioning the good marketing. Ernie responds positively to Jacob and Jacob then responds to Ernie with "suck my cock ernie keebler".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

this is a real political slogan

A banner shows a man named Jun-Jun Sotto. The text on the banner says, "I'll do my best but I can't promise anything. Ipagpatuloy Ang Kaunlaran Jun-Jun Sotto."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A text-based image consisting of a series of posts. The first post from "frickdun" says "[slides nasa $20] so, tell me about the aliens". Then "nightcoremoon" replies, "aliens: [slide nasa $40] nasa: Imao what aliens". The final post by "candy5hark11" says "nasa, with $60, holding back tears: we can finally afford some more space rocks".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Man legally changes name to
"Big Dick" so that "these niggas
will keep my name out they
mouth"
@ju
C
He taken a selfie with a security cam?
The energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful. Truly he
is one we must fear.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A marble sculpture of a frog from the Shang Dynasty (1600-1045 B.C.). Credit and Collection: Sotheby's.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Two people outside. A person is covered in bees, sitting on a bucket. The other person, dressed in beekeeper gear, is kneeling next to him, holding out a hand.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Two images of a green caterpillar, one showing it from the side, and the other showing it from the front. The text above the images reads: "so what you're saying is.. this lil guy runs japan.." and "This is the Japanese Emperor Caterpillar."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

An image of a night sky with a projection of Steve Harvey's face made of light dots over Atlanta. A user comments that the lights are just stars.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image is a comic strip showing three panels. In the first panel, an elderly man in military attire is talking to a younger man sitting next to him, who is also playing a video game. The text says, "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DEFEATED THE NAZIS IN HOLLAND." The younger man responds, "You have to let me go, grandpa. It's not your fault you inspired me to join the military. I knew the risks when I signed up. It was my choice." In the second panel, the younger man fades and becomes translucent. The text says, "Men shouldn't die so young." In the third panel, the elderly man is sitting alone on the chair.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A text-based image showing a conversation. The text reads: "Remembering that time in grad school when my advisor, a great ornithologist, got a random call: drunk guy, bar noises in background: IS THIS THE BIRD PROFESSOR? my advisor: um..yes? drunk guy: DO HUMMINGBIRDS HAVE FEET? my advisor: ...yes *wild cheering over phone from bar*"

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image shows a gun firing a bullet. Next to it, there's a man wearing a bullet as clothing with the text "Why not wear a JACKET PROOF BULLET?" above the man.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image shows a split view of John F. Kennedy. On the left a black-and-white photo inside a red circle shows Kennedy riding in a car during a parade, on the right a color portrait of Kennedy smiling. Below, the text "You'll never believe what happened at this parade (it blew my mind)" is shown. A YouTube interface is at the bottom with the channel name "JFK".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A four-panel cartoon shows a father talking to his son in the first panel, saying "...and under no circumstance should you ever hit a woman." The second panel shows the son, now an adult, sitting on a bed with a woman in front of him on all fours and saying "Spank me, Kenny." The third panel shows Kenny saying "No." The fourth panel shows the father behind Kenny saying "I'm proud of you, son."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

THE FEARSOME GODZILLA HAS EVOLVED

The image shows Godzilla with the colors of the transgender flag as a background. Godzilla looks like he is roaring. The text says: "THE FEARSOME GODZILLA HAS EVOLVED".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Jorking my peniys

The image is a screenshot of a tweet by user @Xvstardust_. The tweet text reads: One time I was jorking mine peniys and... Well... Let's just say it got hard...

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

This Mfer soooo greedy he does NOT need that much tail

A full shot of a Godzilla figure with a very long tail, the figure is dark gray with red spines, standing against a red background. The long tail curves in the air.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Salad

A small white kitten with black spots is being held by pink kitchen tongs. The text above the image reads: "dad!" and below "Why is someone grabbing that kitten with tongs?!" A blue text box in the corner says "salad"