What record did Obama proved during his presidency No matter how far a brotha gets in life he’ll still be in government housing
Shower thoughts
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda? She thought it was Diet Coke
What does Santa Claus in Bill Cosby have in common? They both come while you’re asleep
What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower? Slick her hair she looks 15
What’s worse than spiders On your piano Craps on your organ
How did you get into the tampon 100 Pull some strings
What do you do when your cat’s dead?
Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
What's a kidnapper's favourite shoe? White vans
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram
Why are people in Japan so thin? Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Why did the slave go to college? To get his master's degree.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11. Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you? Your virginity
What’s a vegetables favorite dance
The cabbage patch
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common? They both get a lot of crack
Why does your grandma like gardening so much? Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday? Returning to the scene of the crime.