Shower thoughts

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To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters? A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood

I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks, Dad," the son says. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."