If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Shower thoughts
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS
I lost my virginity to a girl with down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with a orangutan Monkeypox
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots
what happens when the president turns emo? the great depression
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.