Shower thoughts

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them mommy or daddy

Yesterday I was fucking my sister and she said' you fuck a lot like dad I said "really mum said that too."

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis the priest is in jail now.

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon

What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary? One of them knows the definition of no.

What did the rapist say to his victim. Go ahead call the police we will see who comes first.

A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.

He orders a beer.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."

I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber Created by the Japanese Who speaks English And looks like a Mexican Jumps like a black man And grabs coins like a Jew

What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?

Cracking open a cold one with the boys.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?

My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.

What do sex and food have in common?

My sister makes it better than my cousin.